I know we’ve had our fair share of terrible men, but let’s not give up just yet. There are still some good brothas out there. What qualifies a man as being a bad candidate for a relationship or marriage? The number one thought that would come to mind for most women is definitely cheating. Nothing upsets us more than finding out our man is stepping out on us, but even some of those men can straighten up and fly right when they finally realize what they have at home.
I also think a lot of black men have insecurities about approaching a woman if their finances are not stable because a lot of black women count that as a deal breaker. What if he didn’t have much money, but adores you and treats you like a beautiful queen? (He rubs your feet every night before you go to bed, fixes things around the house, he’s faithful, he’s a very good listener, and he pays attention to detail.) Does that not count for anything? As black women, I think we can sometimes overlook a good man by setting our standards too high.
I literally hate the saying “niggas ain’t shit” because I think it makes it look bad for the good brothas out there who really do know how to love. The brothas who know how to be all in with a woman deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated. I think some of us are so used to entertaining men who don’t know how to treat women that we wouldn’t know a good man if he was staring us in the face.
Black men have been mistreated since slavery, they’re being daily killed and abused by corrupt police officers, and consistently convicted by an unfair justice system. We need to make sure we are creating a safe space for them to breathe and be free because they are still shackled every day by the doldrums of this divided world we live in. They need to be lifted up and told how much they are appreciated because if we don’t believe in them, nobody else will. I want to give a shot out to all my good black brothas out there. Not all black men are dogs and it’s very important that we recognize and cherish the good ones we have left!
